Happy New Year 2008

December 31st, 2007 Editor

It has become a tradition here at OJ to post the Year In Review from Jib Jab. It’s nice to see that the Middle East is always in there. ..
Thank you to our readers, writers and friends and for making this another great year.
Wishing you a Very Happy New Year - Peace, happiness and may everything you wish for come true.

EB


In 2007 | Funny Jokes at JibJab

2007 Survivor Of The Year

December 31st, 2007 Maurice

OlmertFor those who have been watching Israel’s version of the successful American reality series, The Survivors, the vote has come in as to who is the most successful ’survivor’ in Israel for the year 2007. And the winner is none other that Prime Minister Ehud Olmert. Just as those in the T.V. series have to survive the greatest tests of their endurance and tenacity, Mr. Olmert has certainly done this and has so far been able to out flank both his critics as well as the commissions appointed to investigate his alleged wrong doings.

For example, Olmert has managed to prevent the Winogard Commission, which has been set up to examine and conclude who was mainly responsible for the mistakes made during the 2006 war in Lebanon. Despite the evidence presented against him so far, Olmert has not only managed to prevent being voted out of office by the Knesset, his country’s parliament, he has even been able to get a majority of Knesset members on his side and prevent any parliamentary no confidence votes from bringing down the government.

Regarding his personal financial conduct, which was under investigation by both the country’s Attorney General Menny Mazuz, as well as the Israel Police, neither were able to put together a case strong enough to cause the prime minister any real harm. These investigations also included the well televised “Bank Leumi scandal” in which Olmert was suspected in taking bribes in favor of projects sponsored by the country’s largest bank. And just like some of the more unpopular members of The Survivors teams, he has not been voted out of the tribe – not yet anyway.

As the year 2007 draws to a close, the Prime Minister is becoming more and more involved with trying to make peace deals with people who are not really “partners”; and this is especially true of Palestinian leaders such as Mahmoud Abbas, as well as foreign heads of state such as Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. In fact, the more Mr. Olmert tries, the more he doesn’t seem to be successful. The only bright spot in his survival efforts appears to be his wife, Aliza, who is appearing more and more on T.V. recently, possibly in an effort to gloss over his inadequacies. Aliza seems have a lot going for her, and may be his ultimate salvation in the coming year, 2008. There is an old saying that wives often act as a counter balance to their husband’s idiosyncrasies, and the soft spoken Aliza, a social worker by profession who is also an avid amateur photographer, has been seen involved in a number of projects dealing with disadvantaged people, especially children.

Whether of not this will help save her husband’s political career is not certain at this time, and as we get into the New Year, events may be just too much for even a clever maneuveror like Mr. Olmert. His own Kadima Party members who still appear to have some loyalty towards him my eventually decide to save their own futures; and like the teams on The Survivors, may decide to vote against their leader and force him to leave their political “island”.

Gaydamak Makes His Move

December 31st, 2007 Maurice

Billionaire Arkadi Gaydamak is definitely on the move these days. And this move appears to be heading towards a bid to become an important element in Israel’s political scene, with possibilities of even one day becoming the country’s prime minister. After purchasing several Israeli corporations and also the Jerusalem based Beitar Football Club, Arkadi Gaydamak has now heading in some new directions and is increasing his support to a number of philanthropic projects.

Gaydamak has recently been making appearances in a number of Israeli communities, including Netanya and Or Akiva. In Netanya, he strolled through the ’shuk ‘ or open air public market, where he was enthusiastically greeted by both vendors and shoppers alike. In fact, the loud acclaims of “Gaydamak!, Gaydamak!” were so loud that he couldn’t get a word in edgewise in either Russian, English, or Hebrew – the few Hebrew words he knows that is. At Or Akiva, his next stop on this particular tour, his big black “van-limo” stopped at a religious school and yeshiva where he was also greeted with much enthusiasm. According to sources, he promised the Yeshiva a generous donation of around one million ILS, close to $260,000 at today’s currency rates.

When asked by an accompanying Channel 2 News reporter if his philanthropy appears to be a tactic to gain popularity, he replied: “I’m not buying anything – nothing!” Since the outbreak of the 2006 war in Lebanon and Gaza, Gaydamak has been involved in several projects in which he furnished assistance to those in need, including a tent city for residents of northern Israel who fled the onslaught of missiles fired at them from Hezbollah forces, as well as offering the beleaguered residents of the southern town of Sderot a holiday in Eilat following a siege of Palestinian launched Kassam missiles from near-by Gaza.

Gaydamak has made generous contributions to a number of organizations including the nationwide ambulance and emergency medical service Magen David Adom. He founded his own political party, the Party for Social Justice in February, 2007, with which he plans to enter the next parliamentary election on a right winged platform similar to that of Binyamin Netanyahu’s Likud party. While not presently expressing a desire to be either a member of the Knesset or the prime minister, Gaydamak does appear very interested in becoming the next mayor of Jerusalem; a position in which his ownership of the Beitar Football Club would be a definite asset.

Although the next elections are at least a year away, Gaydamak appears to be conducting an impressive enough PR campaign that may bear him significant political fruit. When asked if he thought his lack of Hebrew might be a problem, he replied: “I don’t need to speak! My actions are louder than words! Besides, I will have a proper “team” to conduct the affairs of government.”

Team or not, it appears that Arkadi Gaydamak is moving in the direction he wants to head in. And that “direction” might lead him all to way the top.

Lev Leviev Quitting Israel

December 30th, 2007 Maurice

The announcement by Billionaire Lev Leviev, one of Israel’s wealthiest citizens, that he and his family are planning to leave Israel is causing reverberations all over Israel, and the Jewish world. Reported destination for Mr. Leviev is London, England, where the businessman and entrepreneur already has varied business interests. He is Chairman of African Israel Development Company, is also head of L.L.D. Diamonds, the largest diamond manufacturing company in Israel and one of the largest in the world. Leviev, age 51, came to Israel originally from Tashkent, Uzbekistan in 1971, and has been one of the leaders of the Bukharian Jewish community in Israel for many years. The billionaire’s personal fortune has been estimated at “between 4 and 7 billion dollars”, and he is rated number 278 by Forbes rating of the wealthiest people in the world.

A deeply religious man, Leviev made the news several years ago when he purchased the controlling interest in the exclusive Ramat Aviv Shopping Mall, and almost immediately prevented the multi-screen cinema there from being open on Shabbat and Jewish religious holidays. Although the cinema later opened its doors during Jewish holy days, Leviev retaliated by announcing that he would remove the cinema entirely from the mall. Leviev is deeply involved in the Chabad religious movement, and has made large donations to the Chabad Movement in both Israel and abroad. He was a personal friend of the late Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Schneerson, who has been refereed by many as the Jewish “Meshiach” or Messiah.

Leviev’s diamond empire, which includes mines in both Russia and southern Africa, has given him so much clout that he has even challenged the DeBeers international diamond syndicate by saying that due to the size and scale of his operations, he doesn’t need to be a Debeers diamond “sight-holder” since he has enough access to raw, uncut diamonds from his own sources. His real estate empire has also reached a state where he is purchasing exclusive property in cities such as London and New York City, some of which cost more than half a billion dollars. Besides purchasing various luxurious properties in the U.S., his Africa Israel company also owns controlling interest in the 1,700 “Fina” gas stations which are spread all over the continental U.S.

Leviev is a strong family man and the father of nine children. Recently, he appointed his eldest daughter to be the CEO of Africa-Israel, which may have been an advanced notification of his intention to relocate. He has also been recently quoted that he is very dissatisfied with the present political situation in Israel and also in the manner in which many non-religious Israelis are living, including their desecration of the Sabbath and religious holidays. Israel’s dealing with the Palestinians has also been disappointing to Leviev, especially in regards to the Olmert government’s willingness to return most of the West Bank in return for a peace agreement.

Whether Leviev and his family will like living in an increasingly Muslim influenced city like London is too early to tell. London’s Jewish population has recently taken on a religious revival which many younger families choosing to become deeply religious. London’s business proximity is probably attractive to Mr. Leviev as the city of nearly 20 million has one of the largest diamond bourses in the world. And regarding his many business interests in Israel, London is only a 4 hour plane flight away. While this move may not be permanent one, Mr. Leviev appears to be sending the State of Israel a distinct message that it should consider putting its political and religious house in order before it’s too late to do so.

Benazir Bhutto Assassinated

December 27th, 2007 Editor

It’s all over the place. Benazir Bhutto was killed a few hours ago. Wonder where this “ally” of the US is heading now…



Iranian Jews Arrive in Israel

December 27th, 2007 Maurice

A group of 40 Iranian Jews have just arrived in Israel as part of an ongoing program to bring the remainder of a once large Jewish population dating back top the time of King Xerxes the Great (known as Achashverosh by Jews). The group, one of the largest in recent immigration efforts, came via an unnamed country due to the sensitivity involved and potential danger to the remaining Iranian Jewish community.

Approximately 25,000 – 30,000 Jews remain in Iran, most of them in the larger cities of Teheran, Shiraz, and Eshfahan. While Jews had a good life there during the reign of the Shah, their lives have become increasingly difficult since the Islamic Revolution of 1978/79; and a few years back a group of 13 Jewish men were arrested and convicted of being spies for Israel, a popular trumped up charge in Arab and Muslim countries. Fortunately, the group was later released, but only after they had been subjected to torture and imprisonment. The election of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as president of Iran has further complicated the delicate game of brinksmanship that Iranian Jews are now forced to play.

The new immigrants are receiving a special grant of $10,000 by some Jewish and Christian Zionist organizations each as well as a government package of Olim or immigration benefits. Jews wishing to leave Iran for life elsewhere are usually free to do so, but must leave virtually all financial resources behind. What they leave is then confiscated by government authorities.

One of the new immigrants, Avraham Dayan, said that he had had seen his son, now living in Israel, for 11 years. “I feel like I’m in heaven” Dayan said has he entered the arrivals terminal at Ben Gurion Airport.

So far this year, around 200 Jews have arrived in Israel from Iran. This group is believed to be the largest group to come together since the deposing of the Shah in 1979. In a recent documentary involving the life of Jews still remaining in what was formerly Persia, it was shown that Jews are allowed to practice their religion under the Shiite Muslim dominated regime, but cannot learn Hebrew or belong to organizations dealing with Israel. Ironically, Israel and Iran once enjoyed cordial relations under Shah Reza Pahlavi, and many large buildings in central Teheran, including many housing government offices, were built by Israeli construction companies such as Solel Boneh. Everything changed when the Ayatollah Khomeini deposed the Shah and declared Iran to be an Islamic republic.

While Iranian Jews are still living more or less normally under the ultra Islamic regime of the Mullahs and Mr. Ahmadinejad, the Jewish State of Israel has been singled out as one that the Iranian president would like to see “wiped off the face of the map. Whether this national feeling will cause additional problems for Iranian Jews is something that could become evident with Iran’s increasing belligerency and its desire to continue with its nuclear fuel enrichment program.

There are at least 50,000 former Iranian Jews presently living in Israel. Other Iranian Jewish communities are found in the USA, mainly in New York Los Angeles, as well as in the U.K.

No Cop Outs!

December 26th, 2007 Maurice

A new organization geared to promoting more national pride among Israeli youth is getting off the ground in Israel. Headed by Raanana Mayor Nachum Hofri, himself a retired army general, the organization’s slogan : “Real Israelis are not cop outs” is being made into auto bumper stickers that are beginning to appear on cars all over Israel.

The organization was created in the aftermath of the 2006 Lebanese War which resulted in many reserve soldiers expressing their misgivings concerning serving in army units that were hastily sent to fight Hezbollah militiamen in southern Lebanon. This not only caused a lot of embarrassment to the IDF and the Israel government, but it also has resulted in many youth approaching induction age saying that they simply do not wish to undergo military service. The problem has even reached a point where approximately 25% of all youth in the age 17-18 range are refusing to obey the summons they have received to report for their physicals and other pre-induction screening processes prior to actual induction.

When asked by a local television station why he felt his new organization is necessary, Mayor Hofri said that what is severely lacking in today’s youth is a sense of national pride and feeling of wanting to do something for the benefit of their country. Hofri noted that young people even have said that Israel needs to have a scaled-down professional military similar to those in the U.S.A. and most European countries. He went on to say that by the time these youth reach military induction age they do not have the sense of pride and national duty that their parents had a mere generation before. “Kids need to be given this sense of national pride long before reaching the age of going into the army – by then it’s just too late to change their motivation” Hofri said.

The “no cop-out” slogans also apply to reserve soldiers who are a vital element in the country’s military defense structure. Many reserve soldiers seem unwilling to join their fighting units should another serious conflict break out. Of course there is good reason for their ambiguity due to the many mistakes made during the 34 day 2006 war.

In regards to the country’s youth, Hofri believes that programs to instill a greater sense of national pride and public duty need to be introduced into the schools even while kids are still attending elementary school. Together with extracurricular programs such as Gadna, a Zionistic youth program instilled during the early years of the state, and the Scouting Movement, Israeli youth will be better prepared emotionally to assume their national responsibilities. Hofri believes that the military establishment itself must undergo a number of changes in order to better deal with young people once they are inducted, especially those with cultural background and emotional problems.

“We simply cannot afford to let the situation continue as it has recently – our enemies are becoming better fighters from both a quantitative and qualitative aspect” Hofri said.

Everybody Talks Green, But When It Comes To Actions…

December 26th, 2007 Sheer Panic

The international hype around ecology and green living is slowly making it’s mark on everyday life in Israel. Awareness is rising in every field: The media is In love with the subject, academic research is developing and investors are discovering the amazing business potential in the new industry. We all seem to be moving forward, except our government.

Yesterday, the environmental lobby in the Knesset revealed the 2008 budget for the ministry of environmental protection. It doesn’t look good. The basic budget was cut down from 180 million NIS in 2007 to 100 million NIS, Research funding was cut down from 14.6 million NIS to 0.9 million and energy efficiency funding was cut down from 13.6 million NIS to 1.66 million.

MK Michael Malkior, the chairman of the environmental lobby, bitterly joked that even when he was a minister without portfolio, he had a bigger budget to work with.

This is even more absurd, given the fact that Israeli entrepreneurs are leading the green market with new technologies and business models. With the proper budgetary support, Israel could make a real ecological progress that might have international impact. Hopefully, private investors will grab the chance that our government doesn’t mind missing.

Santa Send Me A Baby Brother

December 25th, 2007 Editor

Thank you AG :)

Merry X-Mas..


Santa Send Me A Baby Brother

Bethlehem Celebrates Brightest Christmas In Years

December 24th, 2007 Maurice

Bethlehem Celebrates Brightest Christmas In YearsThe Palestinian city of Bethlehem, located a few kilometers south of Jerusalem, may be celebrating its best holiday season in years. Reports from merchants and hotel reservation desks say that the number of pilgrims and tourists visiting the city of Jesus’ birthplace are at least 50% more than in 2006. Times haven’t been good for this biblical city made so popular by the event that supposedly took place about 2010 years ago, and tourism has been a far cry from what it was in prior years; especially in the “heady” years following the signing of the Oslo Accords in 1994. The city that used to see many thousands of foreign visitors converge on it during Christmas time became as still as the above words in the immortal poem by Father Philip Brooks in 1865.

Following the beginning of the Second Intifada Palestinian uprising in September 2000, foreign visits took a nose dive; and tourism was further complicated when a number of hard-line Palestinian militants held up in the Church of the Nativity for days before finally surrendering to Israeli army troops who were surrounding Manger Square. Once boasting a large Christian population, Bethlehem is now predominately Muslim. With the main source of income for the city being tourism, the city had fallen on hard times, and has only begun to show signs of recovery in the last couple of years. During the first few years following the historical handshake between Palestinian Liberation Organization leader Yasser Arafat and Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin on the U.S. White House Lawn, Arafat himself and his wife, Sulha (a Christian) attended Christmas Eve midnight masses held in the Church of the Nativity. That all changed following the start of the Second Intifada when Arafat became a virtual prisoner in his West Bank Ramallah. headquarters.

To make matters worse, the Palestinian Authority has now been split into two parts, one in Gaza and under the control of Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh, and the other in the West Bank under the control of P.A. President Mahmoud Abbas. Following some improvement in relations between Israel and Abbas’ Palestinian segment, tourism to Bethlehem has begun to improve, much to the relief of Bethlehem’s merchants, many of whom have shops in the center of town not far from Manger Square. Many of the items they sell are exclusively tailored for foreign Christian pilgrims including religious motifs carved from olive wood, jewelry and amulets, carpets and clothing with religious and other logos and slogans connected with the historical legend of the town. As Christmas is the most important time of the year for them, Bethlehem merchants have to bank heavily on a large influx of visitors to tide them through the lean months until summer when tourism again picks up for a while.

For those who want to purchase them, Palestinian flags, pictures of P.A. Authority and Charismatic Arab World leaders, and other nationalistic mementoes are also available.

One of the better hotels in Bethlehem, the Jacir Palace Intercontinental, reported that they are nearly full for the first time in years. “Yes, thank God, we have something to smile about this year”, said Farid, one of the hotel’s reception employees. Concerning what will be happening in the future, “it’s anybody’s guess” said Samir, another hotel employee. And rightly so, as current fighting between Israeli and Palestinian forces in Gaza could well spill over into the West Bank, including Bethlehem. Although the city of Christ’s birth has had fewer problems than other West Bank cities, including Ramallah, Nablus, and Jenin, the situation there during the period immediately after the uprising in September, 2000 was very unpleasant, and the Church of the Nativity suffered considerable damage in the wake of its takeover by Palestinian militants.

Israeli border checkpoints have tried to make it easier for pilgrims to come and go this year as a good will gesture to President Abbas. Still, it isn’t like walking into the Old City in Jerusalem, which for many pilgrims has been an alternative Christmas season destination following the 2000 Palestinian uprising.

In any event, Christmas 2007 does seem to be much better for the citizens of Bethlehem, and is much improved over previous years. And for those who so much depend on this annual inflow of visitors, and foreign currency, they can only hope for the best.